Anniversaries

I remember reading or hearing that meteor showers occur annually because comet tails leave a residue of dust that sits in one location in space in the path of the Earth’s orbit. Each year at the same time the Earth passes through that dust, and as the larger particles of dust enter our atmosphere they burn up, causing meteors (shooting stars). Dates that trigger sad memories might somehow be similar. Yesterday (March 31st) was the four-year anniversary of Leslie’s death. While I tried not to dwell on it, I was clearly passing through some kind of emotional dust. In fact, the past 10 days have been like that, marking four years since Leslie was admitting to a hospice facility. Sometimes we’re not conscious of a particular date being the anniversary of a special event, even though we are aware of feeling “different” on a particular day. Wouldn’t it be curious if someday it was discovered that there was an actual physical component to memories? Anyway, yesterday has passed. More than dates, my memories and emotions are triggered by doing the things by myself now that Leslie and I loved doing together, and remembering how much she loved simple things that she can no longer enjoy: reaching the summit of a long climb on a bicycle; having an enthusiastic puppy run to her when she called; smiling at an infant and seeing the infant smile back; cooling the burn of green chile in her mouth with a sip of beer; arcing a smooth heel-side turn in six-inches of powder; seeing the first pelicans at Sloan’s Lake in the spring; seeing just about any good live musical performance; and so many more. When life gets difficult it is important to remember the people we have loved who are no longer living, and to remember the things they loved most about life that they can no longer enjoy. We owe it to them to find our own pleasure in the lives we have left.